I’ve forgotten what almost love feels like.

I’ve forgotten I was capable of it.

I’ve just been living vicariously through music that sounds like it

That almost makes me feel it

That makes me believe that I have

But when the last chord plays

I’m taken back into reality.

Like when you fall asleep with a seatbelt on and then the car breaks

 

When was the last time my breath hitched?

Not because I was pretending

When was the last time I was looking forward to seeing someone?

To make them smile?

 

I’ve forgotten that I deserve real love

I’ve forgotten almost love was never enough for me

I’ve forgotten I was greedy

That at one point I wanted all of someone

That I wanted them to love me.

 

I’ve forgotten that I hated almost love

And real love

And that I needed love

And that I only ever seemed to write about love when I’ve only ever experienced almost love

I forgot that almost was never enough for me.