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On March 15th, I turned 23 years old.

That’s a pretty big deal. I have spent 23 years experiencing, observing, realizing, and unlearning. While, in the grand scheme of things, that might seem like a short, finite time, it’s still time, and it counts for something—or at least, I’d like to think so.

Here’s a list of my observations.

1) No Matter What You Do, Suffering Will Find You.

I’m starting off strong because, why not? It’s my birthday, after all. If you’re reading this and had an immediate reaction of disapproval, it’s probably because of the word suffering. I’m using it here mostly for comedic effect, but that doesn’t make this statement any less true.

The word suffer has two main meanings: to experience something unpleasant or painful (illness, heartbreak, turmoil, etc.) and to tolerate something. No matter who you are or where you are, suffering is part of the human experience. You are going to go through something!!!

I think many times, we (I) believe we can avoid suffering by making certain choices—which is true—but that doesn’t guarantee a life without problems. It just means a life without unnecessary problems.

Accepting that challenges will come has freed me from the shame that often accompanies them. If I know I made the best decision with the tools and knowledge I had at the time, then I can focus on how to get through a situation rather than dwelling on how it went wrong. Besides, a life with zero problems would be painfully unstimulating.

2) You’re About 10 Decisions Away From Ending Up in a Situation You Judge Others For.

It’s common for people to judge and criticize others for ending up in unideal—or downright crazy—situations. As you read that sentence, you probably thought of someone in a predicament like that.

Hold that thought.

Now ask yourself: Do you do any of the things that led them to where they are? If yes, stop judging. If not… why are you judging? That’s none of your business.

3) A Lot of People Are at War With Themselves.

This is an observation I keep rediscovering—first in middle school. Some people are so negative, mean, and downright unbearable to be around because they hate themselves. Instead of, you know, working on self-love and self-improvement, they let their self-loathing consume them until it’s too much to contain, and they start projecting it onto others.

It’s better to avoid engaging with people like this.

If you’re reading this and thinking, Am I at war with myself?—you probably are. We all are, in some way, struggling with parts of ourselves we want to change. And that’s okay. The only way out is through.

But just because you’re going through something doesn’t mean you have to drag everyone else through it with you.

4) The Ego of an Intellectual Has the Capability to Become so Gigantean, It Becomes a Black Hole.

The academic space is full of people who think they’re superior because they know the technical terms for the struggles that everyday working-class people actually live through. There are people who gather in online spaces to ego-stroke each other because they read books, go to school, or study subjects that require a lot of reading.

They’re condescending, elitist, and—frankly—very, very annoying.

Knowledge is meant to be shared. If you have access to information that could improve people’s lives, it’s your responsibility to make it accessible—not to turn your nose up and assume people wouldn’t care or wouldn’t understand.

Bye.

This list was originally much longer, but I cut a lot out because I really didn’t feel like typing that much (sorry, I’ve been lazy lately).

In writing this, I’ve realized that, for a significant portion of my life (and yes, significant relative to my 23 years), I’ve been more of an observer than an experiencer. And in my limited life experience, I know I have yet to reach my peak—or the pinnacle of everything good that could happen to me.

I say this because there was a version of me who didn’t believe she’d even make it to 18, let alone see her Jordan Year.

And there’s a version of me who would think I’m the coolest person on the planet. That’s who I will continue to write for. That’s who I will share my thoughts, poetry, fiction, and unsolicited opinions with.

If you’re reading this—or anything else on my blog—thank you.