I keep thinking about that date.

Something about it hits my chest like thunder still

Something that makes my body flush and speech falter.

When you stood in front of me,

Electricity struck my sternum then rattled through my spine

I can’t stop thinking about how foreign it felt.

Foreign as in something I used to know,

Or I should get used to knowing

How close you were

How far you felt

How the temperature could rise and fall between us so fast.

I need to see you again.

If for nothing else, to get that feeling again

I want to study it.

To pocket it

And dissect.

To understand

To make sure it’s not something that I imagined

I want to study you.

To make sure that you are someone worth investing in

To see

What you would do with a dash of my trust.

I may be too fearful.

Is it just me?

Or do we tip-toe around each other too much

I’m scared of you.

Because there’s potential for me to fall in love with you.

This is all future tense, of course

But I don’t want to fuck it up.

I need to see you again.

I deny myself pleasure too often

If it feels good, it must be bad

If it’s going well, it must be wrong

That’s what I think

still, I’m willing to fight myself

because

I want this to work.

Do you?